"(Come on let's go)", I said to my little brother Stinky. We were about to (leave home) to go see the Huntingtons perform at (Drexel U). "Sorry, (don't beat me up)", Stinky said. I was talking to Heidi on the phone. "(Heidi hates me) because she heard I was with (Veronica) the last few (friday nights at the rec)." "(She's a brat)", I said. " "No, (shes alright)", Stinky replied. "It's just that (I'm no good). I just dont know how she found out about us. She must have hired (Secret Agent Johnny Bravo) or something."
Anyway we were about to leave when our four year old sister, Lucy, came running out of the house. (Lucy's about to lose her mind) because she can't come with us. Like any loving brother would I threatened to hit her if she didn't go back into the house. So we took off to go pick up my friend Avi. We were lucky the sun was going down because (Avi is a vampire) and he couldn't go if it was daytime. So with some (high school rock n' roll) on the radio we were off to see our favorite band, the HUNTINGTONS!
When we arrived, I met up with an old friend of mine,(Johnny Walker, or JW). "(Aloha, it's you)!," Johnny said. "You know, (I really don't like it) when you speak Hawaiin," I replied. Johnny and I always talk about girls so he asked me how I was doing with the ladies.
"Well...," I said. "I dumped my (crackhead) girlfriend, Niki, a few months ago. (Niki loves her LSD) more than she loves me, I guess. Then I started going with this girl named Jackie. I had (no luck again) with her. I found out that (Jackie is an athiest). So then I told her that (I don't wanna sit around with you) because you'll bring me down. Then there was this girl Jeanne. (She's So Uncool). Once I found out that (Jeanne hates the Ramones) I instantly said goodbye to her. Besides she was way to young for me. She was born in (1985). Then there was Penny. I thoght she was (the only one) for me. She left me for another guy. (Losing Penny) was tough. (All she knows) is that she broke my heart and she doesn't care.
"Wow! You've done alot of striking out," said Johnny. "But at least you're free tonight to get with Alison."
"What? You mean (she's comin' to the show)," I asked.
"Yep," he said.
"I thought she was going out with Martin, the star quarterback,"I questioned.
"Nope. She's not one of (Martin's pretty girls) anymore," he replied. " And the word is she likes you."
I've had a crush on Alison Shermowitz since the third grade. I used to call her my (Bubble Gum Girl) because she gave me a piece of Bazooka Joe during 7th grade history class. But now that we're older I call her my (Teenage Queen).
"Look! (There she goes)!," said Johnny. "Go get her!"
She was standing by the soda machine. She looked so pretty, she looked so clean.
"She probably thinks I'm a (pencil neck) geek," I said doubtingly.
"Dude! She wants you! This is your only chance!," snapped Johnny.
So I boldly began to make my way through the crowd. My eyes were locked on Alison. Then out of nowhere I felt a cold, clammy hand grab my arm. It was the crackhead, Niki.
"Hey," she said.
"(You again)," I replied.
"Don't you miss me?," she asked.
"(How can I miss you if you won't go away)?," I said trying move away from her.
"You know, my (mom's in rehab) so I have the house all to myself.," she said trying to wink her bloodshot eye.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't wanna do the things you do. You're ugly and your breath it smells bad to."
I shoved her away and refocused my eyes on Alison. The HUNTINGTONS were about to take the stage so I ran over to Mikey and requested a song. Then I went over to Alison and asked her to (be my baby). Moments later the HUNTINGTONS started playing the song I had requested, (Alison's the Bomb)! Being the (rock and roll girl) she was, we danced the night away. (We don't care) if people call us the (Goddess and the Geek). We were in love.
It's a few years later and now (Stinky's all grown up). Avi joined a heavy metal band and since (heavy metal is alive in Baltimore), Avi moved to Baltimore. Niki, (she's probably over me) by now. Jackie, well, (when I think about her) I hope she's found the truth. Just the other day I ran into Cliffy from the (Huntingtons,at the beach). he asked me how me and Alison were doing and I told him that we were married and had twins. We named them (F.F.T) and (Dies Saug) after two Huntington songs with wierd titles.